The misfuelling prevention device

It’s not the £3000 for the new fuel system

It’s not the £3000 for the new fuel system

It’s leaving your wife stranded at the wine bar.

I work in Formula 1, so I’m often overseas. My wife works at a wine bar three evenings a week, because she gets bored sitting in the flat at night when I’m away. I phoned her today to say I would be flying back, picking up my car from the airport and I would meet her after her shift and we could go for a curry and then head back to the apartment. She agreed and we were both excited and looking forward to being together again for a few days.

Then I misfuelled. I’m in motor racing for goodness sake so, of all people, how could I have done it? I pulled into a fuel station and was thinking that I should have bought her some duty free fragrance but, of course, I hadn’t. There again, she has lots. Then I thought about flowers. A couple of the bunches in the buckets at the station looked OK, not great but it’s the thought that counts. It was about then that I must have inserted the petrol pump nozzle into the filler neck of my diesel fuel tank.

Yes, that’s right, diesel – I put in the green nozzle rather than the black nozzle. Not a crime is it? The £3,000 for the new fuel system, now that’s criminal!

I’d better text my wife to order a taxi to take her home as I’ve got to wait for the recovery guys. Her mobile phone will be off, of course, she won’t gt the message until she’s finished her shift and, the wine bar is closed, so she’ll end up waiting for the taxi in the rain. What a great homecoming this is turning out to be. Will she believe that I misfuelled? I’m struggling to believe it myself. I hope none of my colleagues find out about this. I’ll treat her to that spa break she’s been hinting about. Maybe I could pull in a few favours from my contacts too and organise an exotic car for the trip and arrange for her to come trackside to the Monaco Grand Prix, her favourite. Sorted, I hope.